Do not take help from those who have no respect on us

Do not take help from those who have no respect on us




We all need help sometimes. Whether it's for a personal problem, a professional challenge, or a practical matter, we can benefit from the support and guidance of others. But not all help is created equal. Some people may offer to help us out of genuine kindness and generosity, while others may have ulterior motives or hidden agendas. And some people may not really care about us at all, but only use us for their own advantage.


One of the worst kinds of help is the one that comes from those who have no respect on us. These are the people who look down on us, judge us, criticize us, or belittle us. They may pretend to be helpful, but in reality they are only trying to make themselves feel superior or to manipulate us into doing what they want. They may offer unsolicited advice, unwanted opinions, or unrealistic expectations. They may make us feel guilty, ashamed, or indebted for accepting their help. They may take credit for our achievements, interfere with our decisions, or sabotage our goals.


How can we recognize this kind of help? Here are some signs to watch out for:


  • The helper does not listen to our needs, wants, or feelings. They assume they know what's best for us and impose their own views on us.
  • The helper does not respect our boundaries, preferences, or choices. They push us to do things we are not comfortable with or ready for. They disregard our opinions or feedback.
  • The helper does not acknowledge our strengths, abilities, or accomplishments. They focus on our weaknesses, mistakes, or failures. They compare us unfavorably to others or to themselves.
  • The helper does not show empathy, compassion, or appreciation. They are insensitive to our emotions or situations. They are stingy with praise or gratitude.
  • The helper does not treat us as equals, partners, or friends. They act as if they are superior, smarter, or more experienced than us. They expect us to follow their orders or directions without question.


Why should we avoid this kind of help? Because it can have negative consequences for our self-esteem, confidence, and happiness. It can make us feel:


  • Incompetent: We may doubt our own abilities and skills. We may lose trust in our own judgment and intuition.
  • Inferior: We may feel unworthy or undeserving of respect and dignity. We may lose sight of our own value and potential.
  • Indebted: We may feel obligated or pressured to repay the help in some way. We may lose our sense of autonomy and freedom.
  • Insecure: We may fear losing the help or disappointing the helper. We may lose our sense of safety and stability.
  • Isolated: We may feel alone or unsupported by others. We may lose our sense of connection and belonging.


What can we do instead? We can seek help from those who have respect on us. These are the people who:


  • Listen to us attentively and respectfully. They try to understand our perspective and situation.
  • Respect our boundaries, preferences, and choices. They support us in making our own decisions and finding our own solutions.
  • Acknowledge our strengths, abilities, and accomplishments. They celebrate our successes and encourage our growth.
  • Show empathy, compassion, and appreciation. They are sensitive to our emotions and needs. They express their gratitude and praise sincerely.
  • Treat us as equals, partners, and friends. They share their knowledge and experience with us without being condescending or patronizing. They respect our opinions and feedback.


Seeking help from these people can have positive effects on our self-esteem, confidence, and happiness. It can make us feel:


  • Competent: We can trust our own abilities and skills. We can rely on our own judgment and intuition.
  • Valued: We can recognize our own worth and potential. We can claim our own respect and dignity.
  • Empowered: We can act on our own behalf and in our own interest. We can maintain our own autonomy and freedom.
  • Secure: We can count on the help and support of others. We can establish a sense of safety and stability.
  • Connected: We can build meaningful relationships with others. We can foster a sense of connection and belonging.


We all need help sometimes. But we don't need help from those who have no respect on us. We deserve better than that. We deserve help from those who have respect on us.

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